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I'm Horrible At Talking About Myself. Mainly Because Everyday I Discover Something New.

8.23.2010

I fight HIM.

Hope lies in my eyes,
While my nostrils release guilt and innocence finds its way from in between my lips.
I cry invisible tears,
While a smile is projected through my voice
I try to cover up what's real, what I really feel
Out of fear that acceptance won't be in your heart.
Make up covering the bruises my lover gave me
The first time he hit me I swung back like a wild woman fighting for what rightfully belonged to me,
My dignity, self respect and his respect for me
But as the years went on I grew tired of fighting
He broke me down,
Forced me to stare at myself in the mirror and accept what he had done
Making up excuses saying, "he only hits me to teach me a lesson"
I just lay there, curled into a ball
Taking hit after hit, blow after blow
Joining the numerous amounts of battered women in America
Insecurity lies behind my playful manner
Sorrow occupies the same spot that produces laughter
We can dance around the subject,
As you try to avoid looking into my blackened eyes.
But if you ask me I wont lie.
He hits me.
My lover, LIFE, is brutal to me at times.
He knocks me down to build me up
But no one seems to understand that concept.
When I dont fight back, his punches become harder, his kicks become stronger
Taunting me,
Encouraging me
To fight for me.
I wish he would just love me,
But I understand the fighting is for the better.
To make me stronger both mentally and physically,
So I fight LIFE
And I'm still fighting him,
I won't stop until I'm satisfied with the outcome.
Some losses,
Some wins,
But I'll come out on top.
And eventually we'll shake hands
and part ways
I'll look at the battle bruises,
Consistent reminders of what I've been through
And thank him for every punch and every kick.

1 people had something to say .:

JStar said...

I feel this more than you know....Because I to...have been there...I wouldnt say that I thank him for his punches but I do agree that they made me stronger...but they also took away my ability to love the right person...I had to learn how to trust again...His strikes scared me deeply....